(Audio Below)
At one point in our lives, we’ve probably all had some kind of suspicion that our significant other could possibly be cheating.
I can now tell you, with 99.9999% certainty that if your special someone has this ONE app on their phone…they be cheatin’. Let’s continue.
First of all, I’d like to preface this by saying I have never cheated, nor condone cheating. Also, think about the logistics of dating more than one person. You’ve got to be quick on your feet! You’re going to have to come up with stories, lies, keep your names and activities straight, and somehow avoid not accidentally posting something on social media, all the while, hoping you don’t run into anyone your partner knows so they can snap your picture. Everyone has a camera on them AT ALL TIMES these days. I’m just going to keep it real, one girlfriend is already enough work.
That sounds like a second job and quoting from the precious Sweet Brown:
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Apparently, there are still many folks who do it for the thrill, or whatever they they use to justify. I’ve seen and heard of the most ridiculous stories of cheaters and the ways they’ve used (or not used) to try to get away with it over the years. Like storing your side chick’s name as something inconspicuous like “Pizza Hut”, “Momma” (instead of Mom), or even other girls’ names that start with the first letter of the side boo (Chris for Christina).
There is, however, one app that will pretty much all but guarantee that your better half is getting some on the side. That app? The Calculator App.
No, not the one that comes pre-loaded on your phone. It’s a very similar, almost identical app as the same one everyone else has on their cell to calculate the tip on your bill because we all forgot 3rd grade math. The app just isn’t a normal calculator, though. It stores photos, videos, and other documents.
A/K/A NUDES
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As the investigative professional that I am, I downloaded the app. It’s available for both iPhone and Android for free. So let’s take a gander, shall we?
There it is! Looks pretty legit, right? Nothing suspicious at all. So far, this seems like a good plan if you’re trying to hide something.
When you open the app, it looks exactly like a calculator app. Even if someone randomly clicks the calculator app and opens it, what happens?
No big deal, it still works as a calculator! You need to set up a password first. Once you set up a password, when you open the app, enter the 4-digit password and simply hit enter to gain access. Quite brilliant if we’re being honest with ourselves.
Bottom line: If your significant other has two calculator apps on their phone, they’re cheating. Take that to the bank. No one is downloading this app, to hide pictures of cute puppies and kittens.
(Bonus points for anyone who finds my hidden joke somewhere in this article 😉 )
