Ok, so I need to preface this article with the fact that no, I am not a Swiftie.
But first, let me explain myself. Do I enjoy listening to Taylor Swift’s music? Absolutely! Have I become irrationally engaged with the thought of her and Travis getting married and riding off into the sunset together? Of course! But here is the thing. Here is the issue I have always had. Being a Swiftie is not an inclusive experience. And Swifties before you come at me- please take some time to understand what I am saying. Can anyone be a Swiftie? Yes, yes you can. But at this point, it takes a full-time job to keep up with being “in the know.”
So here is the question I pose to all of you Swifites. Are you all tired yet? Because I am. And I barely tried. This is exhausting. I started trying because from the outside, hey, it looks like fun. But, man, it is anything but. I am mentally tired for all of you and I have put minimal effort into all of this. I mean seriously, does this not amp up your anxiety from a 2 to a 22? (see what I did there?) For the ten minutes a day I have tried to decode any of her messages? How do you all do it and why? Because she never truly confirms whether or not your theories are right. It is like watching the masked singer on a constant loop without ever finding out who the contestant is, but everyone around you going, yes you are so spot on. Because I must digress- the clues from the masked singer can truly be applied to anyone if you want it to. You can convince yourself that the clues you found are exactly who you are guessing.
So as I close I ask one more time? Are you all tired? Because I feel like if you are not up to date on all of the latest easter eggs, like the lover house burned down and we are now in a psych ward? Swifites help me- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? And if you don’t know, then you must not be a true Swiftie? (Do I believe that? No, but is that how you feel if you weren’t the first one to decode the easter egg??)
I am going to be honest, I am exhausted trying to get this article to make sense. So Swifties keep doing the Lords work, or what I suggest. Start including all fans. Do what Travis and Jason did when you all started watching football and listening to New Heights. Realize that people could possibly be new to the program and help a friend out. Be inclusive. But let’s be realistic, that’s not your job. It’s Taylors.
