The internet never forgets. Most of the time its contents get pushed back into the recesses of our minds and filed in the general dump zone labelled “Remember When?”. But occasionally, it likes to circle back and revisit something from the past, often ignoring the fact that we have been previously introduced. Such is the case for the “latest” dad hack making the rounds (again). It was silly the first time, and the fact that we’re going at this again, is even sillier.
As the father to a daughter, I can confirm that the struggle is real. I don’t know why we fail so miserably to provide the ponytail assist, but we do. Lopsided, bumpy, loose…you can count on it. But can we please stop the madness of advancing THIS as a legitimate aid?
First of all, stop looking for a shortcut to the ponytail. This isn’t a French braid. It’s a ponytail…on a kid. Unless it’s picture day at school, you’ll generally be forgiven for not executing the perfect pony, because let’s be real about this: you could send your daughter on her way with a ponytail so tight and smooth it’d make JoJo Siwa blush, and it’s gonna be trashed by 3rd period science.
Secondly, let’s zoom out on this: the work required to carry out this process is maddeningly nonsensical. The amount of time and effort to fire up a vacuum and hose attachment to which you have fashioned a hair tie is just silly for a couple of reasons (now we’re doing reasons on reasons on reasons).
#1 – Rarely, dare I say never, will a single slip of the hair tie suffice. You’re going to have to twist it and circle back for a tighter fit, and you know it, and that’s almost always when the errors occur. The second time through is a comedy of misfortune.
#2 – You’ve already done the hard part long before you switched on the vacuum. You’ve already gathered the hair and pulled it tightly. It’s already ready for the hair tie. Instead of threading it through a vacuum hose, thread it through your available hand. It really is that simple.
Dads, please don’t fall for this hack. Just embrace the process.
[Facebook: Jordanpoint]
