The sheer size of this thing almost seems impossible.
Stoney Brook Farm in Minnesota has a maze so large that it spans 110 acres and has 32 miles of pathways. Yes, 32 miles. If you were driving a car those 32 miles at 60mph it would take you over a half hour to drive that distance. (Thx, I’m really good at math.)
That sounds cool until you overthink it and your brain goes straight into “horror movie” mode. First of all, I’m laughing while thinking about being dropped right square in the middle of this corn field by a claw machine. 🤣
My brain works in mysterious ways, so naturally, I thought about the most frightening of circumstances. This could be a Hollywood horror movie:
Adventure seekers drive a long distance (say like, Appleton, WI.) to the World’s Largest Corn Maze. They get there and they’re super excited and can’t wait to share their tale on social media. The line is long and finally they get to enter the maze as the sun is setting. They’re the last ones in (they’re really bad at timing). It’s all fun and good until they get lost and start getting mad and frustrated. In a move no one sees coming, they all think that they know the right way and all get separated from each other. Now it’s dark and they’re still lost. The maze is closing up thinking they got everyone out (insert some ridiculous Hollywood-style reason for not knowing people were still in there). They turn off the giant lights and go home. Of course, there’s no cell service and its getting chilly being October in northern Minnesota. The adventurers all get picked off one by one in some nasty, over-the-top gruesome fashion. Is it a monster? Aliens? Serial killer? Is it the maze owners?! NO ONE KNOWS! Until next year when a new adventurer finds one of their phones in the dirt, cleans it off, powers it with a portable battery charger, and the found footage shows the gory contents. THE END.
Just kidding, this is Hollywood, right after the person watches the brutal slaughter videos on the found phone, the giant maze lights turn off as they hear footsteps behind them. Now it’s THE END. Set up nicely for a sequel or 12.
I know what you’re thinking. A real Stephen King here. If anyone wants to bankroll my movie, holla at me. 🤣
Fear not, however, there will be staff helping people who get lost. They will also have a QR code that will direct you through the maze. I still feel like this could trigger some anxiety or even claustrophobia in folks frantically trying to find their way while their brain is telling them they’ll be lost forever as they keep going back and forth crossing the same path they’re 99% sure they were on 5 minutes ago. Classic.
The massive maze is actually four mazes: an easy maze, a hard one, and two extreme mazes and set to open up on September 10th. For more info, check it out here.
