Over the weekend, the highly anticipated film, Cocaine Bear was released in theaters. Sure, it’s ridiculous story about a wild bear discovering and consuming a crap load of cocaine that was inside a crashed plane in the middle of the woods, and goes on a coke-fueled murderous rampage. What’s even crazier is that it’s a true story!
Well… based on a true story. The story actually happened, but we know how Hollywood works.
I like this trend of ridiculously impossible horror movies that are so bad they’re good. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself for… Meth Gator!
Hold our bear… I mean, beer.
— The Asylum (@theasylumcc) February 24, 2023
Coming for your life this summer.
🧪🐊🌨️🧸 pic.twitter.com/8V0WlPq8GY
Not much is known about the movie yet, except the movie title is Attack of the Meth Gator or the plot. but I think I’ve got a pretty good idea. A bunch of Florida alligators get higher than Mount Everest on some backwoods meth and then go nuts. Simple, and I like it.
Here’s the rest of what we know: It will be made by The Asylum, which is behind the Sharknado movies, set to hit theaters in Summer of 2023. The Asylum is mostly known for small-budget, straight-to-streaming movies. They already joked on Twitter saying, “We’re pumping the meth into Floridas fresh water reserves as we speak!”
Ya’ll laugh at the absurdity of this until you’re out on a peaceful walk and come face to face with the Heroin Orangutans.
I should probably also mention that the creator of Cocaine Bear, Elizabeth Banks, says she’s planning on creating Cocaine Shark next. This is the Golden Age of cinematography.
