If you know me, you know that I come up with the best ideas ever. No one ever gives me enough credit. Except for maybe now… as I prepare for my battle with Doritos. Let me fill you in real quick.
Last summer I was feeling a certain way and decided I was going to try the new Doritos flavor, Sweet & Tangy BBQ. They were, how you say, DELICIOUS. Instant new fav. A week or so later I went back to the store and got another bag. Now, I’m not really a big chips guy, but hey, I was feelin’ myself.
I’m excited and go back home and munch on these new Doritos. However, to my surprise, I knew something was wrong after just one bite. Perplexed, I’m thinking, “These don’t have ANY seasoning?!”
It wasn’t just one chip that had light seasoning, it was the whole bag with none at all. Every chip, a seasoning-less disappointment. I always assumed Doritos without seasoning would just taste like tortilla chips. They absolutely do not. They’re more like a cardboard flavor. It was bad.
So, I did what any normal person would do and Tweeted them. They instantly got back to me and wanted to make it right. While I had Doritos in my DMs, I figured this was the perfect time to pitch them one of my genius million-dollar ideas: Doritos Seasoning.
Brilliant, right?! Imagine having your own bottle of Doritos flavoring to put on ANYTHING YOU WANT?! Popcorn, pizza, dips, marinades, pasta, soups, etc. Next level. I pitch them the idea, but they don’t even respond. They just thank me and tell me they’re sending me some coupons for free chips. “Oh well, I tried,” I thought.
Fast forward to yesterday, and as I scroll through Twitter (X), I see THIS:
What would y’all do if these were real?? #fakeproduct pic.twitter.com/nYB1eMQpZl
— Doritos (@Doritos) June 17, 2024
Excuse me, what now?
At the time of writing this, the almost 800-comment Twitter thread basically says the same thing: Why isn’t this real? Genius idea, I’d buy a lifetime supply, etc. I don’t think there’s any doubt that this should be real and probably will be real. So, a-hem, Doritos… I believe I may be entitled to some compensation, here!
For proof, here is the back-and-forth between Doritos and me in the DMs.
Let’s chat, Doritos! 📞
